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Post by Aurora Francesca Marie Soren on Aug 23, 2011 23:05:58 GMT -5
a u r o r a || f r a n c e s c a || m a r i e || s o r e n Az életem hirtelen véget ért, de ez tényleg csak az elején. (My life is suddenly over, but it's really only beginning)
-------------------------------------------------------- May 30
Dear Diary,
My life is over, I really and honestly mean it. Okay, maybe not completely over, but it might as well be. Axel just broke up with me on our eleventh month because, and here is his excuse, "we were getting too serious!" Can you believe that? I mean he is a teacher and I'm a student and it's not supposed to be allowed, but I mean come on! If he wanted to break up with me he should have done it months ago before I really... fell for him. Yes I said it, I fell for him. I'm no expert on him, in fact I really don't know that much about him. He's harder to read than stone, but he makes me smile and laugh, I don't have to pretend around him. I'm not the daughter of one of the wealthiest families in our world little "mythical" world, I'm not the daughter of a council member. I'm just Rory to him.
I can't even look at the bracelet I had specially made, it's in grandmothers drawer in the jewel safe but I find myself always heading towards it without realizing it and it's driving me crazy! I don't want to see it, it just reminds me of... him. GAH! See? Artemis has been with me almost every second since it's happened but nothing is cheering me up. I finally gave in and made her think she wanted to give me time alone but I just couldn't handle it anymore. I really just want to be alone and stay hidden under my sheets for the rest of my life. I even had to change my sheets because they were silk and he loved silk.... GRR! I've already transformed four times accidentally, I didn't mean too but I would just get angry at him for dumping me for a stupid reason like that and then I'd get mad at myself for wanting to be serious after almost a year of dating.
Diary I don't know what to do anymore. I really did love, do love, Axel but I just wish that he would give us a chance. I knew he didn't want to be too serious so I tried to not be too serious either but I guess I wasn't good enough... I don't know.
Well, I'm going to crawl into my new sheets and bawl my eyes out some more.
Aurora Francesca Marie Soren [/color] |
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Post by Aurora Francesca Marie Soren on Aug 23, 2011 23:18:44 GMT -5
a u r o r a || f r a n c e s c a || m a r i e || s o r e n Az életem hirtelen véget ért, de ez tényleg csak az elején. (My life is suddenly over, but it's really only beginning)
-------------------------------------------------------- June 28
Dear Diary,
So it's almost been a month since I've written anything, but I have good news (= Axel and I got back together today. He saved me from some guy at the mall and we started talking and both agreed that we just couldn't stay away from each other. I'm trying my hardest not to be too serious in our relationship, but I just really love him, ya know? Me and Artemis had been in the little court yard outside of the mall, I really hadn't wanted to go but Remy dragged me anyway when I was just in one of my runnign outfits, and some guy just came up to me not even twenty minutes after we got there and started hitting on me. I guess Axel saw what was going on and came over making sure I was okay, especially after the creep had the nerve to grab my butt when I turned to walk away. Axel did NOT look happy, which kind of made me smile because he's so cute when he's jealous, and then I thought 'wait, jealous? why is he jealous if he broke up with me?' Well after he took care of the guy we started talking and both decided we couldn't stay away from each other and we got back together. Artemis had actually snapped a picture of us from the back when we were talking, I acted mad that she had spied but then I asked for a copy which let her know I wasn't mad. But seriously it hadn't even been ten minutes after we made up and we were laughing and acting as if we hadn't broken up. Well anyway, that's not all I had to tell you....
We finally had sex. Yeah waiting for marriage didn't work out, but I know I love Axel so it's okay. We went back to his apartment, with just intentions of talking, but one thing lead to another and well... It was interesting to say the least, a bit awkward too because I had no idea what I was doing and he had only done it once before so we were both kind of just exploring and seeing how it went. Yeah, my brother would kill him and so would my dad but I can't think about that right now, all I can think about is that I'm finally back with the man I love, and I just hope that this time it lasts longer and we actually stay together because if he ever gives me a lame excuse for breaking up with me again he's going to be in sooooo much trouble.
I'm starting to get a little nervous though. I'm not on birth control so I'm kind of worried I might get pregnant. I guess I'll just have to wait and see if I'm late or not. It's probably just my paranoia anyway. Night diary <3
Aurora Francesca Marie Soren [/color] |
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Post by Aurora Francesca Marie Soren on Sept 21, 2011 20:47:51 GMT -5
a u r o r a || f r a n c e s c a || m a r i e || s o r e n Az életem hirtelen véget ért, de ez tényleg csak az elején. (My life is suddenly over, but it's really only beginning)
-------------------------------------------------------- July 11
Dear Diary,
I took a home pregnancy test today, and it was positive. I really didn't know what to tell Axel, but I had to tell him seeing as we had a date right after I took the test. I acted overly cheerful for the first part... but I didn't read the test until I went to the bathroom in the restaurant. I started bawling my eyes out and him, being himself, imediately thought someone had bothered me but instead I took him back to the table and told him everything.
At first, I think he was really mad at me, but then he told me we would figure it all out. I'm really afraid that he's going to leave me and say having a baby will be too hard. He says he won't but it really hasn't had time for it to sink in yet. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
I'm going to wait a few more weeks, just in case the test was wrong. I'll probably buy a few more and take them throughout the weeks. I know I'm usually brave, but I'm going to have to wait and build up the courage to actually go to the doctors and confirm it also. I'd like Axel there with me, but I'm afraid that if he goes he won't want to come back. I know this is silly and I should just leave it at the fact that he won't leave me, but I just feel like he is going to leave me once it gets too hard. All I know is, even if I am pregnant, I'm not giving the baby up. I got myself into this mess and I'm going to go through with it.
I have to go call Remy now. I'll write soon.
Aurora Francesca Marie Soren [/color] |
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