wish you were here - open.

[Niko Aleksej Laaksonen]

"And we're out!"

Those three words that meant that Niko could drop his solemn expression, those three words that meant the broadcast was over and he could go back to not speaking; it was joy. Working with the News wasn't all it was chalked up to be but it paid extraordinarily well considering Niko was only twenty-one. Twenty one, Niko couldn't imagine many twenty-one year olds that could say that they didn't have a father. Michael was an amazing stepfather to him, better perhaps than his real father was. But the memories from that night never went away. He'd seen it as such a luxury to know that his father had a boat. A boat! How many families could say that? It was meant to be amazing. But it cost him a father. All the years that Niko was meant to have with his father were never going to happen.

Wiping a stray, useless tear from his eye he started to walk home from work. Some of the best times recently have been behind the camera, reporting the news. But because people see the smiles and the grins, the light-hearted reports, they thought that Niko was like that. Sadly, Niko rarely spoke to people. And when he did it was usually about what he'd done wrong in his life. There were plenty to pick from. Paul, for example. Niko had wasted a year of his life with Paul, supporting him while his art wasn't going anywhere. Helped him find a place to stay. Gave him the virginity he so desperately wanted only to hear the words 'that wasn't bad' by the end of it. Niko would sigh, if he thought it was worth it. His problems were internally built. He was alone.

He stopped by the Coffee Break. They were serving coffee, no use letting them waste it. After all, coffee was good. There wasn't anything that kept him more alert. Especially after a working day when he could've just collapsed. He wished he'd sleep for twenty years or something. And hope life was better by then. "No wonder I don't have any friends. I'm a depressed fatherless mute who only refuses to speak because people are guaranteed to let me down." he frowned as he ordered his cup of coffee. His mind asking the whole way through if he really needed coffee, then ordered it anyway. A cappuccino, to be precise. One hot cappuccino.

[Max Mikael Carter]

Max kept watching the news, alert to anything that could spell trouble for the secret community living in New Castle. Secrets seemed to rule his life now. He didn't tell anyone about being molested by a teacher when he seven. It shamed him, made him feel worthless. It felt like he carried a disease and there wasn't any medicine to make him better. Just the thought made him frown and a slight look of shame appeared on his features. Luckily he was home alone, but the walls were closing in around him. He was going stir crazy, no doubt about it. With a sigh he went to go take a shower, hoping that the hot water would leave him less tense than he already was. It was something he had come to embrace, choosing rather to keep watch than fully relax. Who knew when he would find something from his past that would haunt him relentlessly?

Once he had finished showering, he changed into something more comfortable. Comfortable being jeans and a t-shirt with his favourite pair of Converse trainers. He made sure that he had his wallet and phone before setting out from the hotel room he shared with his father and sister. Well, more like his adoptive father and sister. He had never grown up with his real parents, his mother fleeing the hospital after she had given birth to him. In fact, he was lucky seeing that his twin had been a still born. He wondered if his real mother had ever tried finding him, wondering how he was or if she ever regretted giving him up.

He never really had a mother either, his father never remarrying after losing Susan. It didn't faze him, knowing that nothing could ever really break apart their family unit. Max had a coffee craving, but with dismay he noticed that most of the seats in the coffee shop was taken. He went to the counter and ordered himself a grande latte, and went in search of a place to sit. Excuse me. Do you mind if I sit here? Everywhere else is full, he asked a particularly handsome guy. Max wasn't looking for a partner or a relationship. His life was too messed up for that.

[Niko Aleksej Laaksonen]

Niko's deep brown eyes looked up at the stranger. Niko liked to think that he carried no sadness in his eyes anymore, only hard stone. The idea of being pitied didn't amuse him. Since Niko didn't talk to people, except to a camera for his job, Niko gave the boy no reply. His application of politeness was impressive though, this guy probably had a much better upbringing than Niko did. He seemed sensible and he had manners. Two things that Niko wasn't exactly praised for. Niko straightened himself upright like a troop, pursing his lips diagonally for a few seconds, before finally nodding that the boy could sit down. Niko probably wouldn't be staying long himself, he didn't like the evasive way that there was no privacy when all the tables were full. Everybody could hear everybody's business yet you couldn't hear yourself think.

Niko then returned to his cappuccino, as if the boy wasn't there. If there had been seats available, the guy would've been on his own and probably enjoying solace. Niko didn't want to adjust this plan on the basis of there not being enough seats. His intentions were to let the guy try to snatch a quiet moment, he didn't have it in him to be mean. The noise of the laughter from some of the larger tables was annoyingly deafening anyway, he wasn't even sure that Niko could hear if the man spoke. Thankfully, Niko didn't speak. Which meant his only communication with people was his eyes. And his eyes were admiring the man. He was attractive, Niko could feel the buzz of lust lurch inside him causing goosebumps on his arms. It was about time he felt that way about guys again, maybe he was finally at a place where he could forget about Paul.

His eyes kept soft contact with the guy, even though he didn't speak. He raised his eyebrows every now and then in curiosity, tilting his head when he needed to see what was happening behind him. He wondered if the boy would speak to him. He hoped that if he did, it was something that Niko could shake his head to. He didn't want to look like the guy with non-answers.

[Max Mikael Carter]

Max waited patiently for the man to say he can sit down or leave. Either way, he didn't mind. There was always something that would go right and wrong in a day. Ying and Yang. His day was okay so far. With the school term starting in a while, he could finally start focussing on school. Once he received the nod, he placed himself in the opposite chair, crossing his legs on the seat. He balanced easily, and once his coffee order arrived, he drank it quietly. Max, by nature, didn't talk much and so the silence and lack of conversation didn't bother him much. He kept his gaze to himself, but did take the occasional look at the male across from him.

Like Max, there seemed to be a great sadness in him. There always seemed to be something that attracted Max to the sad or troubled ones, maybe his own sadness and troubles that did the trick. He also felt the occasional glance from the opposite side of the table, and he shivered slightly. He wasn't used to that sort of attention from anyone and particularly not someone that was of the same sexual orientation as him. His past experiences was something that he tried to keep to himself and the fact that he was still a virgin in most aspects was somewhat off putting even to him. He hadn't ever had a proper relationship, maybe because he never made his sexuality known to others. He just wanted to keep it a secret, because he had been targeted at his old school because of everything. His weirdness, his sexuality, everything about him had been wrong in the eyes of the other students.

Now, he was accepted as a shifter to those who could find out. He had a place to change without worrying about it so much. His premonitions, although a lot more frequent now, was also something he was learning to embrace. Mostly he saw things about common strangers who brushed past him in the street. He saw who was going to be cheated on by a partner or spouse, or who was going to die in a car accident. These visions made him avoid crowds and large groups of people, simply because he didn't want to see.

talk talk talk
think think think
them them them

W O R D S * 381 ;;
T H O U G H T S * If only one would talk xD ;;
M U S I C * Megamind ;;
T A G G E D * Niko ;;
W E A R I N G * Coming ;;
C R E D I T S * adele's chasing pavements ;;

template by RoyaLe of Caution 2.0

[Niko Aleksej Laaksonen]

Niko observed the boy take a seat, wondering exactly who he was. Like him, he wasn't speaking. Niko wasn't sure he could speak to a stranger. His eyes cried for the young male to speak to him, because he did genuinely want to get to know the male. Truth be told, he wanted to get to know anybody. As a person he knew that there was a part of him that longed to give himself to another. Some tiny insignificant part of his heart that just wanted to break off and attach itself to another. He couldn't see it happening in the near future though. Or even while he's alive. The idea of trusting someone again almost made him shiver. He wondered if the guy was planning on hurting him. Maybe he had sat down just to insult him and scorn him or make Niko move.

"D--did you want me to move?" he asked, instantly regretting on the very first syllable that came out of his mouth. No! Now he knows your attracted to him! Oh you idiot! His mind was on fire with hatred for the fact that he'd asked such a simple question. Of course the guy wanted him to move, he didn't want to actually talk to him. Nobody did that anymore.

Niko fiddled with his thumbs under the table, looking down at them. He could no longer make eye contact with the male now that he had spoken to him. He felt like an idiot for speaking first. He sighed, thinking it was probably best to go home. He was never going to do well in public, only when he's delivering the news. And then, people aren't getting to know him. Just the news stories. Niko rose to leave, thinking that if he was never going to see the guy again then it didn't matter what he said to him. "By the way, I think your really cute." he said to the male before moving to leave.

[Max Mikael Carter]

Max had felt pain in his life. A lot of it. He had been molested, he had lost the one person he had known to be his mother, he had found out he was adopted, and yet, he had always chosen to move on. He was quiet, withdrawn and shy. He didn't make his sexuality known and there was some things that he refused to let people know, but when he sat across from the stranger, he couldn't help but wonder. Why were things so complicated for him? Why did he have to be picked for the troubles in life. All it would have taken was to pick up the dark haired males hand and see into his past or future. The small control like that made him what he was, but there was nothing in the idea of premonitions that could be controlled.

No, I don't want you to move, he said in response, rather quickly as well. You were here before me in any case, so if anyone should be moving it should be me, he carried on, giving this stranger a small smile. Max had had crushes before, none of them coming to anything however. He did want someone in his life. Someone he could go to the movies with or cuddle up on a couch. Someone that he would be able to phone when things just weren't working out. That was all he actually wanted, but it wasn't happening for him.

As the dark haired male rose, Max instinctively reached out for him and pulled him back down to sit. The revelation that had come seconds before had filled him with some ridiculous hope and he couldn't help but feel cheated in some way as well. I think you're cute as well, he murmured with a shy smile and blush staining his cheeks. Then he felt that familiar feeling. In seconds, he had received this Niko's whole past and some glimpses into his future as well. You were really hurt weren't you, he said more than asked, But it gets better. I know, he carried on, already knowing that if he hadn't chased away Niko before, he had done so now. His hand dropped, and the hope that he had been feeling vanished.

talk talk talk
think think think
them them them

W O R D S * 371 ;;
T H O U G H T S * Sorry it took so long =] ;;
M U S I C * Silence ;;
T A G G E D * Niko ;;
W E A R I N G * Coming ;;
C R E D I T S * adele's chasing pavements ;;

template by RoyaLe of Caution 2.0

[Niko Aleksej Laaksonen]

Niko had to have been dreaming. Guys didn't call him cute. Guys didn't call him anything, or call him in general. He must've misheard. Only when he noticed the blush that crept on his cheeks did he realize that he had actually called him cute and meant it. Working in the media, there were the occasional fans that wrote into channel 8 news explaining their long-term crushes on several reporters, including himself. But those didn't count. Niko had a strange way of going inside himself when he was shy. His entire body was locked into place and Niko couldn't meet the male's gaze. Especially as the male touched his hand. Niko's eyes widened for a moment as he realized they had actually shared contact. His hand had touched his. It was unbelievable.

"No.. I wasn't. Who are you?" he stammered, wondering how on earth he could've presumed he'd been hurt. It really killed him inside to think that he was wearing his emotions on his face now. He thought he'd got good at switching off from them. His eyes watched his face but still wouldn't meet his eyes. He was so attractive, far too good for him. And he was fascinated by the fact that he seemed to know so much about him, how? Observation? It intrigued Niko.

"It does?" he asked in a near whisper, sitting down again. He liked this guy's insights. He wanted to hear more from him. Even though if Niko's words were to be believed, there was nothing to get better. He hadn't admitted to being hurt in his life. It was a dark road that he didn't want to start thinking about again. So he changed the subject subtly. "I'd buy you a coffee but you already have one." he told the male, a tiny corner of his mouth rising into a half-smile.

[Max Mikael Carter]

Max just looked slightly embarrassed by the whole thing. It was difficult to reveal who he was, because by that small act, he would be revealing himself and he would be open to ridicule. That was the thing. He had been bullied since he started school, merely because he had been thought different. That haf killed him. He was different. He was a seventeen year old homesexual teenager who could turn into a fox at any time and saw into people's past and future. How different could one be? There was nothing that he could think about in area's of his life that defined him to be normal. He wasn't normal. Not in any form, and in some ways he hated it. That was the worse for him, but looking at this male, he saw someone even more damaged than he was, and in a way, it humbled him. I'm sorry. My name is Max, he said, smiling slightly. The feelings that he felt when he got insight into something, disappated completely, and Max was relieved.

Would it sound completely stupid if I said that I saw it?
he asked with a wry grin. It was the truth. He saw these things. Not just by touch, but sights, smells and locations. Max had been crippled one day, a field trip to a concentration camp, things rushing into his mind at a horrible pace, leaving all but paralysed. Needless to say that the bullying picked up for the eleven year old Max. Now, he felt vulnerable, like he was going to be thrown in the deep end and it was a feeling that he never wanted to feel again. It was his differences that made him feel like he was never going to find someone in life. Heck, he had slept with his best friend, may have gotten her pregnant, and it still made him feel so alone.

Max grinned when this dark haired male offered him a coffee. Well, it's almost finished, so you can do so anyway,

he smiled, wondering what was going on with him. He was smiling and grinning, totally out of the norm for him. Was he crushing on this male? Maybe, but he was interested and that was completely new to him. Utterly and completely new to Max who stayed in the shadows, watched other people be happy. That was Max's life. That was all he could do to survive. It was hard enough to avoid people, much less talk to them. How could he do a relationship? With difficulty was the answer, but he would find someone eventually. He hoped so at leaset.

talk talk talk

think think think

them them them

W O R D S * No idea xD;;

T H O U G H T S * Typed on my phone xD ;;

M U S I C * Silence ;;

T A G G E D * Niko ;;

W E A R I N G * Coming ;;

C R E D I T S * adele's chasing pavements ;;

template by RoyaLe of Caution 2.0

[Niko Aleksej Laaksonen]

Niko was terrified around this male. Already his head was summoning all the scenarios in which this was a trick, a ploy for trust, or that this guy would end up letting him down somehow. It had to be. Nobody spoke to him just to be friends. It was crazy talk. Paul had always told him that he wasn't allowed to talk to people, that they were only going to treat him badly and expect more from him just so they could laugh. Niko didn't see the irony of that statement, even though the memory of losing his virginity to Paul and having him turn around, after losing his long preserved virginity, and insulting his talents in the area. He'd been nothing more than a virgin. It was no surprise that he was bad. His confidence over the years had been shattered by a parade of events in his life that all seemed to draw one conclusion - Niko wasn't worth loving.

He hoped that Max was lying. That he hadn't seen anything of his past. Not his father's drowning, not his relationship with Paul, not the poverty that they lived in together whilst Paul was trying to sell his art and worst of all not the intense bullying at the hands of his former boyfriend. He couldn't stand the thought of somebody seeing all that. "Everything?" he asked with a tremor in his voice. He was still hoping that Max was lying.

Niko took Max's invitation to get him coffee and was thankful for the time to be away from the conversation for a few minutes. He got up, recognizing that Max had a grande latte. He knew that he was going to have to return to the table but for now he wandered over to the counter, quite slowly. He was still processing everything. His palms were sweaty, his heart was beating faster than usual and he was more nervous than he'd ever been. Was this love?

He immediately stripped himself of those thoughts, never having believed that he was capable of love. As sure as night turned to day he knew he'd never find a relationship that could accept the fact that he didn't initiate conversations or how he was so professional and charming at work but the real Niko was small and fragile. It had only been because Paul had a personality where he loved being the aggressor. He loved asking him on dates, moving in for the kisses, initiating the sex, and that was how they had worked as a couple. Niko couldn't imagine finding anyone else that could adapt to him as well as Paul did. He took Max's grande latte back to the table, a very miniscule amount of happiness showing in a small upturn of his lips.